oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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