real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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