Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
