It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
