birth control should be required to get into college
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
