Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
