I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
