I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
