he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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