shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
