Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize