I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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