I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
