Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
