the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
