I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
