Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
