I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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