This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
