Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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