thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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