just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
