My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
