Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
