lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
