im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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