Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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