how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
