I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
