i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
