This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
