I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
