My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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