new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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