Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
