He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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