If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
