There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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