i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
True college students do jello shots in the library
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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