I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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