But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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