Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
