It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
