And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
