so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
