It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize