Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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