I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
either way he was missing a nipple.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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