I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
