So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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