After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
