Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
