I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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