Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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