what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
