dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
