just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize