Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
