but the lizard people decide everything anyway
worst night to have a conscience
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
A bitchslap is in order.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
