Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
